Salaam, Everybody,

You might have seen my new profile picture. It is from Racecourse Park, also known as Jilani Park. The Park is situated on Jail Road, opposite Services Hospital. It is a vast park with a jogging track, an artificial waterfall, a play-land and lots of colourful flowers.

We occasionally visit the park on Sunday afternoons. Hundreds of people are around at that time. Do visit this beautiful site, if you haven’t already done so. You’ll certainly enjoy the experience. Munawar Ali Malik –   1 MAY  2017 

Salaam, Everybody,

Ever visited Bashir Darul Mahi in Qaddafi Stadium, Lahore ?
No ? Well, then you haven’t tasted the best fried fish in Lahore. This choice food item was introduced to me by my publisher, Syed Sardar Javaid, about 10 years ago. My son, Muhammad Akram Ali, was also with me.

In those days Bashir Darul Mahi used to be in Mozang. Later it shifted to Qaddafi Stadium. There was a time when Sardar’s fried fish ( in Gowalmandi ) was the best in Lahore. But Bashir has beaten Sardar.
In winter we occasionally visit Bashir’s. Comment on this post after eating that treat, whenever possible.  Munawar Ali Malik –    2 MAY  2017 
Salaam, Everybody.
I’m not much of a carnivore گوشت خور (perhaps that is why I have lived so long ?). But I do love to eat well-cooked meat.
One of the meat food points in Lahore that I love is Khan Baba Restaurant on the Lower Mall near Chuburji. Khan Baba specializes in chicken and mutton karahi cooked in pure desi ghee. Tikka is also one of their specialties. Their prices are, of course, pretty high because of the pure desi ghee. But people of taste never mind prices. Eating Khan Baba products is really a memorable experience. Munawar Ali Malik –    3 MAY  2017 
Salaam, Everybody.
I am no end pleased to see your positive response to my question last night. Only a teacher can guess the pleasure I feel in coming back to you tonight. Nice to know that I have got a class of over 200 well-motivated students to learn from my English posts.
Not that I was planning to stop writing in English. There is a charm in English prose that makes writing a pleasure for me. I’d never like to lose that pleasure.

Your response to my question shows that I have 200-plus people around me who share my pleasure
THANKS, EVERYBODY !Munawar Ali Malik –   5 MAY  2017 
Salaam, Everybody,
One day, while teaching my MA English, Part-One class at the college, I suddenly saw my daughters ( girl students) staring in horror at the ceiling above my head.
Now that was a gross violation of the class discipline, as I never allowed any student to look at anything but the relevant page while I was teaching poetry or drama.

There is surely something seriously wrong up there, I thought. Perhaps the roof is going to fall on us. I looked up at the ceiling. It was just a LIZARD (چھپکلی) !!!!
I waved my hand at the lizard, and it disappeared.
” So, that was it ! ” I said with a smile, and left the classroom, for it was no use trying to teach a terrified class. Munawar Ali Malik –   6 MAY  2017 
Salaam, Everybody,
I have always loved to walk. Even at this age, 2 to 3 km at a brisk (quick) pace is no problem for me.
When I was working at Thathi school, I chose to walk the 4 km to school, although I had a bicycle. I just dragged the bicycle along as I walked. I rode the bicycle only on my way back to get home as early as possible. I followed that routine as long as I worked in Thathi school (11 years, to be precise) .-Munawar Ali Malik –    9 MAY  2017 
Salaam, Everybody,
Walking has stood me in good stead. By the Grace of ALLAH, I feel perfectly fit, and capable of handling my routine literary assignments (reading and writing).
However, too much traffic around these days has restricted my walking routine . I avoid going outdoors as far as I can. In Lahore we go out to Jinnah Bagh, Racecourse Park, Model Town Park or Fortress Stadium once a week, and enjoy long walks. In Mianwali, I find it difficult to walk around freely amid recklessly driven motorbikes, chingchis and khota rehris in the narrow streets.- Munawar Ali Malik –    10 MAY  2017 
Salaam, Everybody,
Recently I marked some BA papers. There was a question : Write an application to the SHO of a Police Station about a daylight robbery.
Taking “daylight robbery” for the name of a job, one of the young candidates wrote :
With due respect I offer myself for daylight robbery under your kind control. My bio-data is given below:

1. I have pass BA with high mark in Inglish.
2. I have 5 years ekspirience of daylight robbery in a school.
That is all I could remember from that superb piece of literature.
I fervently hope the candidate was not one of you.Munawar Ali Malik –    12 MAY  2017 

Salaam, Everybody,

During my tenure as examiner for MA English, I came across several surprises. Two of those were just unforgettable.

I was marking the novel paper of MA Part- I. One of the candidates wrote nothing but

Badshah Salamat Mubarak ho
repeatedly in answer to each of the four questions. Thus I found 21 pages covered with this absurd sentence written again and again.
I wonder who this candidate’s Badshah Salamat was ? If he was addressing our ruler of that time, Musharraf was our Badshah Salamat in those days.
As I was not Musharraf, I gave him 0/100.?
The other candidate was an honest young man who wrote just :
“Sorry, Sir. See you next year”?.Munawar Ali Malik –    14 MAY  2017 

Salaam, Everybody,

Some of the students write pathetic appeals to get pass marks. We examiners usually ignore such appeals, knowing that the candidate is telling lies. Our sixth sense warns us that the candidate who writes
سر، میں ایک یتیم اور بے سہارا لڑکی ھوں
is actually a boy, who never cared to attend the classes at college.

Only once was I deeply moved by an appeal, about 35 years ago. The candidate was really a girl. She wrote :
” Sir, I belong to a village near Chakwal. I am a cancer patient. I just want to see my Intermediate certificate before I die”.
The words had a ring of truth which brought tears to my eyes. The paper attempted by the candidate could get her 25/100 marks. I gave her 55 after correcting some of the errors.-Munawar Ali Malik –    16 MAY  2017 

Salaam, Everybody,

The best examination joke was once narrated by Prof Sarwar Niazi Sahib. Referring to the famous story of the thirsty crow, he said a brilliant Matriculation candidate wrote the story in the following words :

A crow was. Water not was.Crow fly here and there and here and there, and here and there. See a jug. Very small water in the jug. See a heap of stones. The crow fall the stones in the jug. Water come up. Eat water and fly here and there and here and there, and here and there. END.Munawar Ali Malik –    17 MAY  2017 

Salaam, Everybody,

Speaking of examination jokes reminds me of another letter to the SHO of a police station reporting a daylight robbery. The bright young man wrote :

Sir, I am a very poor man. Last night a daylight robbery in my house. The robbery enter in my house and beat me and my brother. He take away Rs 50000 and 7 kilo gold. please took action.
7 KILO GOLD !!!! A very poor family, indeed.Munawar Ali Malik –    18 MAY  2017 

Salaam, Everybody,

Once, marking Matriculation English papers, I came across the most amusing single answer to all the questions in the paper.

On the first page the candidate had drawn the picture of a big hen. Under the picture, the genius wrote :

” Ay murghi tu bata tera naam kia hay ? Tujhe bhi inaam milega aur paper bananay walay Sir ko bhi. Itna mushkil paper mujh se nahi hota.
M. Sharif Qureshi ”
That was all.?  Munawar Ali Malik –    19 MAY  2017 
Salaam, Everybody,
Let us congratulate our legendary twins in cricket on making an honourable exit, trailed by a long list of honours and records from their career. Both played cool, composed cricket, unlike their legendary colleague Boom Boom.
They have been the most noiseless cricketers in the history of Pakistan cricket. Younus was occasionally heard grumbling in low key, but not without reason.Slowly, but steadily, they inched their way up to the apex. Humility is the most charming aspect of their personalities.

The nation takes pride in them. Let us see how PCB treats them in future. Wish them a long, happy life. Munawar Ali Malik –   20MAY  2017 

Salaam, Everybody,

This refers to my last night’s post quoting Tramp.
As my concluding comment (ALLAH O AKBAR) shows, I was not admiring Tramp, but ALLAH.

Even a child knows that Tramp, rather the whole western world, is anti- Islam. But the irony of the situation is that they can’t win the war against terror without cooperation from the Muslim world. So they have to flatter us by praising Islam. Munawar Ali Malik –    22 MAY  2017 
Salaam, Everybody,

In response to my query “any questions?” on May 21, some of you have asked me questions about Conditional Sentences and Clauses etc

Before answering your questions let me repeat what I said at the very outset in my English posts last year:

Please forget that grammar can teach you English. Grammar CANNOT teach you English.
If you could learn Urdu and your mother tongue ( Seraeki or whatever ) without the help of grammar, why not English? You learnt your mother tongue by listening to the people around you, and Urdu mostly by reading.
For a detailed discussion on this topic please see my early
English posts of 2016 at .. Tomorrow, InshaALLAH, I’ll answer your questions.  Munawar Ali Malik –  23 MAY  2017 

Salaam, Everybody,This being Sunday afternoon, here I am, as promised.
We were discussing Conditional Sentences. But grammar, I think, may be something too hard to swallow for those of you who are fasting. So no more of grammar during Ramazan ul Mubarak.From next Sunday, InshaALLAH, I’ll again be telling you stories about my happy past. Right ? ?   Munawar Ali Malik –    28 MAY  2017 

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